Integrity

~ [[Life Track]]

“Integrity is about living from the inside out.”

Integrity is to be Intact

The word “integrity” has taken on a somewhat judgmental narrative in modern English. The word gets its roots from the Latin word “integritas”, which comes from the word “integer”, meaning “intact”.

To be in integrity means to be one thing—whole and undivided. To be dis-integrated is to be the weakened sum of fragmented parts.

Integrity is a System of Parts

A vase is in integrity when it is unbroken and whole. It’s not a matter of the vase’s moral foundations or the judgement you place on its looks—it’s a matter of structure and physics.

Planes fly around 35,000 feet, which is about six and a half miles above the ground. For a plane to fly, every part—the wings, engines, fuselage, navigation systems, every screw and panel—must function as one whole, undivided system.

From now on, instead of thinking of “being in integrity” in a moralizing sense, think of it as a system of parts. The plane flies smoothly when all the parts are integrated. If it loses integrity, it may stall, falter, or crash.

Integrity is aligned with Truth

Man of us can attest to wanting our lives to be better, but we perpetually reason with ourselves and insist that our metaphorical flat tire is fine because the car still runs. We’ve learned to be content within our constraints, maybe because we don’t know who we’d be without them.

When you’re born with one hand tied behind your back, you learn to live in a way that favors it. However, the strength of your belief in something doesn’t make it true. What’s true doesn’t require an arbiter or a reason—it just is. That’s why living with integrity is closely connected to living within your [[truth]].

“What is true is already so. Owning up to it doesn’t make it worse. Not being open about it doesn’t make it go away. And because it’s true, it is what is there to be interacted with. Anything untrue isn’t there to be lived. People can stand what is true, for they are already enduring it.” — Eugene T. Gendlin

When you live with integrity, you align yourself with reality, with the way things are, with the truth you carry. Living with integrity is the alignment of thoughts, words, and actions into a cohesive self. You are ensuring that your inner self and outer self are integrated.

When you divide yourself into two—the shown self and the hidden self—that is brokenness, a loss of integrity, a fracturing of the soul. You must do whatever it takes to stay whole.

“I do not adjust myself to place the world. I am myself wherever I am, and I let the world adjust. I will never promise to be this way, or that way, I will only promise to show up, as I am, wherever I am. That’s it, and that’s all. People like me or not, but being liked it is not my one thing: integrity is.” - Glennon Doyle, Untamed

Knowing what integrity is and living with it are two territories on a map. Most of us exist in between the borders, aware of the dissonance within us but afraid of acknowledging that we’re off track.

But our bodies are much more intelligent than we give them credit for. The body knows truths the mind has yet to understand. It knows when you’re split in two, when the person you’re showing the world doesn’t match the person you are in the dark. That knowing—that uncomfortable, undeniable knowing—is where integration begins.

Living with integrity

![[LN 📘 The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck#^8f605c]]

This experience of noticing we’re on the wrong path, in what feels like the wrong life comes to all of us at one point or another. We find ourselves planted face down in the middle of what is not meant for us. We’re lost, confused, and unsure of how we got here.

This discomfort isn’t a punishment—it’s information. These uncomfortable, key moments of feeling lost are what enable us to be found.

Confusion means Your IGS is working

The suffering and the confusion you feel means your internal guidance system is working. It’s trying to warn you that you’re off track.

When you believe things about yourself, your life, or your purpose that aren’t true, your body revolts. The anxiety, the restlessness, the sense that something is fundamentally wrong—these aren’t character flaws. They’re your soul’s way of saying: this doesn’t fit anymore.

Instead of resisting these feelings, be grateful for them—they are your mind and body’s way of guiding you toward clarity, alignment, and growth. Your suffering is meant to cast your awareness over what’s misaligned within you.

So where does this misalignment come from?

We lose ourselves in “shoulds”

Most of the time, we drift out of integrity not through dramatic betrayal, but through a thousand small surrenders to “should.” We do what we’re supposed to do instead of what feels right. We chase what we’re supposed to want instead of what we actually need.

This is the split between culture and nature—between who we think we should be and who we actually are. Living in integrity means bridging this—living in a way that honors our inner truth and the world we navigate.

[!NOTE] Tiny Experiment - Wanting vs Yearning

I want you to think about something advertising has made you want? Maybe it was a new car, a new bra (or bigger boobs), fancier clothes, etc. Think about how it makes you feel.

Now, let go of that and answer another question: When you’re alone, laying awake in the middle of the night, what do you yearn for?

Getting what you want doesn’t make you happy, because you can never have enough of what you don’t need. You’ll always want more. What we yearn for is always the same: love, connection, freedom, belonging, trust, happiness. These are the things that make human life worth living. Try chasing after those instead.

The Four Stages of Integrity

The first stage we’ve already discussed. Some call it The Path of Not Here, for other’s it’s The Night that Wakes You, some it’s just a mid-life crisis. We now know that it’s information telling us we’re off track.

After we realize we’re out of alignment, the second stage towards living with more integrity is to regain our sense of truth. We must face our deepest fears, the false identities we carry, and the limiting beliefs we hold and bring them out into the light.

The Inferno

This is the moment we begin to realize that the life we’ve been living or the stories we’ve been telling ourselves—are out of alignment with our truth. It’s where we begin to put the shape of our thoughts into the shape of words and hope they remain true.

This is the inferno and the only way out is through the flames. When we take this leap into the unknown, we must remember that the fire can only burn what is not meant to be

Purgatory = Cleansing

This is the third stage towards living with integrity and it signifies a change in our exterior that reflects what’s internal. When we know what’s true, we cleanse what is not true. This purgatory, or “cleansing” is about transformation, uncovering what’s already there and actively choosing what stays and what goes.

Enter Paradise

The final stage of integrity is paradise—the state where your inner truth and outer life are fully aligned. You no longer struggle to maintain integrity because it has become your natural way of being.

Living with integrity makes you happy because it aligns you with reality, with how things really are, with how you really are. Paradise isn’t about perfection—it’s about freedom.

Living within your truth sets you free, as you’re no longer shackled by limiting beliefs, false narratives, or the weight of external expectations.